Barbara Alice Thomas

September 9, 2025

On the 79th anniversary of her birth, this post is to honor my sister, Barbara Alice Thomas, a sometimes visitor to Beltsville Shell!

Sadly, she passed last year, one day after the celebration of what would have been our father's 100th birthday, and our mutual (along with my our brothers Wayne and Pat) post to honor him.

Tribute to Clinton E. Thomas, Jr. 

The eulogy that I wrote for Barbara's funeral service, below, tells the story of her life, and her legacy of caring for others.  I won't repeat any of that material here, but instead, will try to describe some of our happy times together.

Joining me in celebrating Barbara's life in this post are contributions from her daughter, Lori Austin, and her son Kendall Temple. 

Our family nickname for Barbara was "Babs". She was one year my senior, and throughout our childhood, in many ways, she was my closest friend.  Here we are on her second birthday and my first. We played together every day and shared toys.

Before long two more brothers came along, and it was probably a bit of a chore being the only girl in the family.  But I don't recall her ever complaining.
 

From left: Cary, Helen (mom), Wayne, Pat (newly born in 1954) and Barbara

Here is a photo from the late 1970's.

Barbara was both active and popular in her youth (as well as in adulthood).  She participated in Brownies, Girl Scouts, 4-H Club, Baptist Church groups, and more.  She took violin lessons in elementary school.  At High Point High School, she was on the Pom-Pom Squad -- similar to the cheerleaders. She encouraged me to go to "Teen Club", and tried to teach me to dance. We shared so much.

She was in the High Point Class of 1964, one year ahead of me.

Some times I would let her drive my Fox Go Kart, but not my Corvette!

I always thought that she would be my source of support when I went to the University of Maryland, but marriage and motherhood interfered with that plan. 

 

She faced many challenges that are chronicled elsewhere, but her positive attitude hid them from the rest of the World.  When a child is born with a serious disease, the challenge is equally owned by the parent for a lifetime. Kendall was born with, Phenylketonuria (PKU) a rare inherited metabolic disorder that, left untreated, can lead to severe health problems. The story of how Barbara dealt with this challenge is best told by Kendall, himself.

 

"The reasons why Mom had to sew and take on all those extra things to make money was to help pay for my formula which was $385 for one can which was about a one month supply. Mom wrote down everything that I ate on paper every day of my life for at least the first five years. She worked closely with a registered nurse and dietitian through Johns Hopkins University Medical Center to determine what I could, and could not, eat -- typically low protein foods. This routine was arduous because she performed this surveillance many years before ingredients were listed on the back of packages. Mom had to pay attention to keep my diet under control every day of my life until adulthood."

 

In adulthood, in addition to the demands of her family, she earned a Real Estate license, and became a very successful Realtor. The respect that her colleagues held for her was reflected in Barbara being elected to leadership and board positions in her chosen profession. I'll never know where she got the time or energy, but on top of all her other commitments, she was always helping elderly women in her circle of church friends.  

 

As her family grew, and grandchildren and great-grandchildren arrived, she managed to cherish, love, and support each of them.

 

A Thomas family get-together at Barbara's home in 1994

A more recent gathering of Barbara's children and grand children

 

Barbara, her son, Kendall, and her daughter, Lori

 

One of my very favorite stories about my time with Barbara took place in Pasadena, California.  

 

The 1984 Rose Bowl Game

 

Barbara and her son, Kendall, came to California to visit my family during the Christmas holiday of 1983.  I arranged to secure tickets to the Rose Bowl game in Pasadena on January 2, 1984.  Illinois was playing UCLA in one of the most famous of all Rose Bowl games.  The fame had nothing to do with the game, however.

 

 

Caltech, also located in Pasadena, is known for the classic, and astounding, pranks that its students play on others.  Months prior to the game, two Caltech students managed to get a copy of the user manual for the stadium scoreboard.  They figured out a way to reprogram the text on the big display.  Then they hot wired a device into the circuits of the score board so that they could access the system remotely from a distant hill.  During the game, the students "took over" the scoreboard, changed the teams to Caltech and MIT, and programmed little beavers (the Caltech mascot) crawling across the screen.  The Rosebowl technicians couldn't regain control, and in desperation, shut down the scoreboard.  We were laughing in the stands, and I correctly predicted who had pulled of this amazing prank. It was a very cool way to celebrate the New Year. And Barbara and Kendall were there!

 

NY Times Story of Caltech Rosebowl Prank 

 

Finally, I want to recognize Barbara for perhaps, her greatest kindnesses: she supported and cared for our Father and Mother until their final moments, maintaining a vigil at each of their bedsides as they passed.

 

 

You memory lives on, Barbara, in every person whose life was touched by you.

Love, Cary & Nan  September 9, 2025

 

Remembering My Mother

Unselfish is the first word that comes to mind when I think of my mother. I think she would have given her last dollar to anyone she thought would need it more than her. She gave not just financially but also of her time and energy. She was an avid seamstress and spent countless hours sewing for others. I remember many times when I was a child that she would stay up far into the night if she was working on a new outfit or some other project that would be needed the next day.

Being a grandma was where my mom really excelled. She loved her grandchildren and often surprised them with gifts big and small, expensive and free. When my children were young, our family planned a trip to Colonial Williamsburg, and she planned to sew one of the girls a period dress to match her doll. She missed the opportunity to get the dress in the mail and instead fought Washington, DC rush hour early in the morning to deliver the dress herself just as we were packing up the car to leave on our trip. You knew you could always count on her to show up. Whether it was showing up at their events or dropping a package of free convention swag in the mail, she had a way of making all her grandchildren feel loved and important. I hope that I can follow in her footsteps. 

Lori Austin, September 9, 2025

 

Eulogy for Barbara

This gathering today would bring joy to Barbara’s heart.  It is wonderful to see this outpouring of love for her.

We have heard, and will hear, countless expressions of her character today by many people, here publicly, and in our private conversations and remembrances.  All of them, will be true.

The character trait that I want to focus on is “Caring”.  Although Barbara’s middle name could have been “Kindness”, I think her legacy is “Caring”.

I come to this moment with the following context:  Born one year and 13 days before me, Barbara was my big sister.  Our childhoods were intertwined.  I walked with her to school every day, and watched her participation in Church, Girl Scouts, 4-H Club, and more.  She was an honor-roll student. She tried to learn to play the violin.  She took me to teen club and attempted to teach me to dance.  I was so proud at High Point High School football games to see my sister, the pretty short blonde, performing on the field as a Pom-Pom Girl with the marching band.  She was enormously popular, but always took the time to care for me, and our younger brothers, Wayne and Pat.

The zenith of her caring occurred in her adult years.  As a young mother, her son, Kendall, was born with PKU, a serious disease that required immediate, specialized care.  At only 20 years old, with two small children, she drove to Baltimore, to Johns Hopkins Medical Center, for regular treatments and blood tests for him.  She also cared for elderly women from her church, many of them living alone.  With her brothers, Wayne and Pat, she cared for our father through his five-year battle with cancer.  And after Dad passed, she, again with her brothers, cared for our mother for twenty-eight years until Mom’s passing in 2018. Barbara would have been the perfect nurse.

Barbara’s caring carried over to her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friends, neighbors, and even real-estate clients.  Her real-estate practice was very successful, in part, because she worked hard, and sometimes contributed financially, for buyers and sellers who needed help to finalize a transaction.

Everyone gathered here has experienced her caring spirit.  Each of us has received countless cards from Barbara – birthday, wedding, anniversary, Christmas, get-well, and more.  Even when her health struggles plagued her daily life, each of her text messages began with, “How are YOU doing?”  No one could have cared more for others than Barbara did.

I want to close this eulogy with the words that the Wizard of Oz said to the Tin Man, “And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.”  By this measure, Barbara’s heart was enormous.

As we leave this place, we can best honor Barbara’s legacy by dedicating ourselves to caring for each other every day.  That way, we will remember Barbara forever.

Thank you,

Cary and Nancy Thomas, Carlsbad, California  April 26, 2024